I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
