I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
