That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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