wrigley field is MILF paradise
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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