Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
