I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
