Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
