he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
