So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I lost the right to judge tonight
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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