No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
