Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
