Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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