I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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