scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
