Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
