I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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