THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
