just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
