Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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