I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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