I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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