can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
