Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
