Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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