So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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