so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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