I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
