Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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