Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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