my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
