But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
