The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize