Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
