Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize