we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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