i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bring money and cleavage
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
