If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
