apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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