yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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