I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
