We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
