I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
