Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
