I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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