Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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