is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
