Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
