I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
