If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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