I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize