Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
