great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
