Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize