So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
