Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize