I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
