belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
