He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
