Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
