and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What changed your mind?
Being sober
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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