thus making me awesome and them whores
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
