well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
